“This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards … was it possibly the root of all evil? No: of course the love of money was called that. But money itself—perhaps one valued it chiefly as a defence against chance, a security for being able to have things over again, a means of arresting the unrolling of the film” (C. S. Lewis, Perelandra).
Today was perfect. I served as a greeter at the church’s back door this morning and was pleasantly surprised at how warm and spring-like the weather was. The sun was shining, there was a faint breeze, and I felt really good.
Sometimes, I wish I could bottle weather on days like this. That way I could pull it out on those cold, rainy days where it’s easy to feel discouraged and disheartened and instantly be transported back to this morning. Even if it were only 5 minutes, that would be enough to tide me over until the next sunny day.
Unfortunately, that sort of technology doesn’t yet exist. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe instead of pining for better weather, I could train my eye to see the good, even during those nasty, cold, and rainy days that always seem to come in bunches.
You can’t repeat a memory, no matter how good it was. You can never go back and re-create it. After all, all those variables that worked out just perfectly for you to have that moment have changed, as have you. And besides, all the time spent longing for past glories only takes away from your ability to be fully present where you are right now.
So I’ll be content to think about how I got a sneak preview of spring on January 18, 2015 and just as equally content when the weather goes back to normal cold January weather.