My Oscar Acceptance Speech (Just in Case)

I wanted to let all of you know that I’m in a good place. In fact, I truly feel like I’m in a better place spiritually, mentally, and physically than I’ve been in for a long time. And I have you to thank for it.

I won’t be like the actual Oscar winners and name names, but I will thank you and hope you recognize yourself in this list.

Thank you for praying for me faithfully and consistently. There are times when I truly felt like I was carried by those prayers and times when your prayers and your faith in and for me sustained me when I didn’t have the prayers to pray or the faith to believe for myself.

Thank you for your spoken words of encouragement and all your texts and posts on my wall and facebook messages that always seemed to come at just the right moment when I needed to hear those words. God spoke mightily to me through you.

Thank you for meeting with me for coffee and conversation. Those times meant more to me than you knew because I know you cared enough about me to take time out of your busy schedule to spend time with me.

Thank you even if you said you wanted to meet for coffee and conversation but were unable to follow through. I know you meant well and I am flattered and honored that you even considered meeting with me.

Thank you for putting up with my occasional moments of insanity and weirdness and those times when I was overly needy or obnoxious. The fact that you stuck around when you could have bolted means the world to me.

Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your community groups and Sunday School classes. Thank you for rooting for me and helping me believe in myself. Thank you for being amazing examples of Christ for me to learn from.

I know there’s so much I probably left out that I should have included. But with my ADD, I’m doing good to remember all of this.

Just know that I am eternally grateful to know each and every one of you and I pray that God blesses you as much as you have blessed me and that he brings you as much joy as you have brought to my life– which is way more than I deserved or could ever hope to contain. I’m so very grateful to have you play a part in the story of my life that God is still writing for me.

Thank you.

Baggage Part III: Trials Turned to Gold

I’ll admit that I am addicted to comfort too much of the time. I don’t want to step outside my comfort zone too often.

But I keep thinking about the believers in Thessalonica. They only had Paul and Silas for a few short weeks. They were new converts, yet they still managed to turn their world upside down.

The big takeaway for me was how they endured persecution and ridcule, but how that endurance and trial turned into perserverance. That perserverance turned into character, which led to a hope that nothing and no one could quench.

What you’re going through will end, but your story won’t. Who better to talk to someone struggling with alcoholism than a recovering alcoholic? Who better to help someone cope with the loss of a child than someone who has walked the same road and cried the same tears? Who better to help someone deal with doubt and discouragement than you after you’ve been through a dark night of the soul when you felt hopeless and alone, but finally saw daylight at the end of your trial?

I love the quote from a movie I saw that said that only those who have lost can truly lead. Only those who have been hurt can help bring healing. Only those who know how they have messed up their lives and what Jesus save them from can truly love well and lead well.

It’s all about loving well. It’s not how religious you can talk or how well you keep the rules. It’s not about how convincingly you can point a finger at people and expose their faults. It’s about how you can be a vessel of God’s love and love people right where they are for who they are.

I’m not really good at loving well, but I’m getting better. Those rare moments when I did love well were moments when I forgot about me and let Jesus take over.

My prayer is that you learn to embrace your story, even the painful parts, and help others to find the good in their stories, too.

Above all, may we all learn to love well.

Yet Another Blog About Marriage from the Perpetually Single Guy

I have to admit something. I’m a bit disturbed.

Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe a little envy is creeping in, but I get disturbed by the way people on facebook are describing the ones that they will very probably end up marrying.

The descriptions are things like “tall” or “hot” or some other physical attribute. I know attraction is important, but is it the most important thing?

This is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and walk through all the seasons and storms of life with. It won’t matter if he’s got six-pack abs when you’re dealing with the loss of a family member. It won’t matter how “hot” he is when you’re struggling to make ends meet and wondering which bill will be left unpaid this month.

The most important thing, the first thing you should be able to say about your potential spouse, is what kind of character he or she has. Is he kind? Is she considerate? How does he treat strangers? How does she talk about her family and friends when they’re not around?

Again, I admit that I am probably making something out of nothing, but I have to get this out in the open so it won’t hang around in my brain and keep me from sleeping tonight.

Mostly, I see a generation that is obsessed with having the perfect weddings, but not nearly ready enough to have successful, impacting marriages. So much of what passes for dating these days is “pretending to be married and practicing for divorce,” as I heard it put once.

One last thing. There’s no prize for how fast you move from dating to being engaged to being married. Take your time and learn everything you can about the other person.

I may be eternally single and date-less, but I do know this: if you try to make a relationship fulfill what only God was meant to fulfill, it will fail miserably.

I have a lot to learn about this, as well as many other areas, but I do know that God is still good and He is still eternally patient with me.

The moral? Take all this with a grain of salt and read it with grace. But keep your eyes open and your mind intact. Love isn’t something you fall into; it’s something that you must choose again each day, something you must work at, something that may at times be very hard, but at all times will be worth it.

The Kingdom of God

The Kingdom of God is like a grain of mustard, so very small in the hand, yet when planted, it becomes a tree that fills the heavens and where all the birds come to find rest amidst its branches.

The Kingdom of God is like a small pinch of leaven in a vast amount of dough that eventually penetrates every part as it causes the dough to rise.

The Kingdom of God is men and women leaving positions of importance and luxury to go live among the outcast as missionaries and bring hope to the once hopeless.

The Kingdom of God is those who leave father and mother and family and go to a strange land with only the promise of God to guide them.

The Kingdom of God is those who overcome because their testimony, the blood of the Lamb, and the fact that they were willing to give up everything, including their own lives, to gain a thousand times more in the Life to come.

The Kingdom of God is Jesus inviting all the Peters of the world, those ashamed of their betrayal and moral failures and wreckage their lives have become, and says to them, “I am entrusting My work in your hands  and giving you a new story to tell, the most  fantastic and the truest story you will ever hear.”

The Kingdom of God is the lame and the beggars and the outcasts and the nobodies of the world being chosen to the best party ever thrown, one that will never end and will only keep getting better.

The Kingdom of God is two or more, gathered in the name of Jesus, whether in a multi-million dollar church campus or in a tin hut with a dirt floor.

The Kingdom of God is here and it is advancing. No power in hell or on earth will ever be able to stop it, because nothing is more powerful than love. And Love has come and His name is Jesus.

The Kingdom of God is God ruling in the hearts of His people, taking broken lives and making them whole, taking stained souls and making them clean, taking shame and turning it to praise, taking mourning and turning it to dancing, taking ashes and turning them into beauty.

The Kingdom of God on its way and at the same time, the Kingdom of God is already here.

The Kingdom of God is NOW.

Friday Is a Good Thing

I don’t think Fridays will ever get old for me. Knowing that the work week is over and that I have a few days of my own is a good feeling. Especially after you have one of those no-good, very bad days that you’re lucky to survive with most of your hair and wits still about you.

I like to think of Heaven as one long Friday, knowing that all the hard stuff and the bad stuff is over and the good stuff, the best stuff, begins and never ends.

C.S. Lewis in his Chronicles of Narnia described Heaven as the the feeling you get on the first day after the school term is over and vacation has begun. That has always resonated with me more than any imagery about Heaven.

Sometimes, the only way you can get through a trial or an ordeal is the knowledge that at some point it will end. It won’t last forever and you won’t be consumed by it.

Take heart. That day is coming, even if you can’t see it or feel it. Even if you’ve all but lost any hope for an end to your pain and suffering and tribulation.

As certain as every week has a Friday in it, the end will come. Again, C.S. Lewis made it come alive to me when He described all of history as the title page and preface to the book, and Heaven is the actual story where each chapter is better than the last and there is no ending.

It’s not an end, but the true beginning that goes on forever.

Heaven’s not just some far away place in a distant time, but it’s wherever God breaks through and shows up in power. It’s wherever God is truly present in His people and where two or more are gathered in His name.

So, I say without any hint of sacrilige, “THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!”

One of Those Days

Some days, you have a spiritual breakthrough. You take major steps toward realizing a dream of yours and step out in faith. You can hear God speaking to you and you have a heart to obey. The Word of God comes alive to you.

Then you have one of those days.

You go to check your bank account and the balance has one of those ominous negative signs next to the number.

You break yet another diet after so much hope that this one would be different.

You give in to a moment of weakness and have a drink or a cigarette after doing so well for so long.

You open your mouth and the absolute wrong thing comes out and someone leaves your life for good.

You get called into your boss’ office and the news is not good.

You find yourself putting your happiness into someone else’s pocket and your dreams of a new relationship bringing you that longed-for fulfillment come crashing down when that someone chooses someone other than you.

You feel like you are so far away from where you want to be, you might as well not even try. It feels hopeless.

Take heart. You still have an Advocate who fights for you in Jesus. You still have a Father who is crazy about you and longs to gather you under His everlasting Wings.

You are no accident. You have a purpose. No matter how long it takes, Jesus will see you through to that purpose and see you become who you were meant to become.

It will happen.

The setback of circumstances don’t change the fact that the final outcome is a victorious one for those whose hope is in the Risen Savior.

Keep believing. Keep praying. Keep connected with fellow believers. Keep dreaming. Keep hoping.

As bad as this day seems, it is just one day and it will end. They always do.

May the peace of Christ guard you from the lie that nothing will ever change or get better. May that peace remind you that God has and does and will always continue to work all things together for your good.

May this peace be yours tonight and in the days to come.

Waiting in the In-Between

In The Magician’s Nephew, a great fantasy book by C.S. Lewis, the main characters find themselves in a “Wood Between the Worlds” kind of place. A place where nothing ever happens, with a warm and calming kind of quietness. A place where you can almost hear the grass growing and branches sprouting leaves.

I’ve felt like that. Like I’m waiting in a place between the now and the not-yet. I feel like time slows down in this place and the waiting seems to take forever and nothing ever really seems to change.

I check my facebook and see everyone else moving past while I’m stuck in the waiting. I see all the parties and social events I didn’t get invited to and I see people’s lives moving at breakneck speed while mine seems to trudge on at a turtle’s pace.

But I believe God’s word for those in the In-Between is simply to wait.

Don’t force the next chapter or the next step. Don’t try to pry open the door into the next part of your life. Being at the right place at the wrong time is still wrong.

We feel like what God wants from us is activity and busy-ness. What God wants from us is dependence and trust. And sometimes rest.

Waiting in the In-Between is not doing nothing. It is getting ready for the next part. It’s becoming the person you need to be to do what God is calling you toward. He’s the one who knows when you’re ready because He’s the one getting you ready.

Instead of a frenetic and feverish impatience to get on to the next big event, try a little deep breathing and deep trusting. Trust that although you may not know the way, you know the One who is leading you and you know that He knows the way and will get you there exactly when you need to be there.

Maybe this time I’ll take my own advice and just learn to enjoy the ride instead of waiting for the destination.

PS You don’t have to wait alone. Part of the blessing of being a part of the Body of Christ is that we not only worship and pray and laugh and weep together. We also wait together.

Sacred Places

I have one of those sacred places I love to go every once in a while.

Whenever I’m in downtown Franklin. there’s an old church I love to step inside and just walk the creaky floorboards and take in the history of the place.

It feels more sacred to me than a lot of places because so many people have expressed devotions of faith and worship there over the years. You can almost feel the ghosts of old saints still lingering about the place.

I think everyone needs that special place where they can commune with God. Some place private where only God and they can go, where the world must stay outside until you both are done.

I have a quiet corner of the couch in the mornings where I sleep. . . I mean, pray very intently and where my cat crawls up in my lap and prays, too. Probably for me to include more tuna in her diet.

The sacred places are the places you can’t wat to get to, the ones where you long for after a long, hard day. Sometimes, before the day you know will be long and hard is about to start.

Obviously, the most sacred place of all is the human heart where the Spirit of God dwells. If you are in Christ, then wherever you are is where God is and that place you are standing is holy ground. Kinda makes you think twice about where you go and what you do, doesn’t it?

If you only get one thing out of this little blog, it’s this. Your Heavenly Father desires to spend time with you. Your spending time with Him is not a have-to, something you do and check off your list, but a get-to, a privilege, and a blessing.

Your desire to be more like Jesus and to be fully mature in the faith will only ever be as strong as your desire to spend time daily with Jesus, getting to know Him and His heart for the world.

As my blogger friend always says at the end of hs blogs, “You think about that.”

The So-Called Greener Pasture

“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life” (1 Corinthians 7:17a).

The media tells you that you can’t be satisfied where you are. Our entire economy is based on the idea that for you to be completely satisfied, you just need a new car or a new house or a new 100-inch 3D plasma TV.

So many single people are so pre-occupied with getting married that they lose the beauty of being single. Some will get married to the first person who shows interest back and find out the hard way that being alone in a bad marriage is worse than being alone and single.

Even married people are tempted daily that what they have isn’t enough. There are myriad oppurtinities for you to find comfort and solace in someone who is not your spouse. No one starts out looking to wreck his or her marriage with an affair. It starts innocently enough with confiding in that co-worker and opening up emotionally to the friend of your spouse.

We miss so much of our lives waiting on the next big event. For single people, it’s marriage. For married people, it’s having children. For married people with children, it’s having the kids grow up and leave the house so they can go back to the way it was when they were first married.

Only you can’t ever go back. You can’t live in the future. The only life you have is now in the present and if you are so focused on what comes next, you will miss what God has for you right now.

God is outside of time and in every moment of your life. But He is only speaking to you in the present. You can only commune with Him in the now. If your mind is envisioning possible futures and rehearsing future conversations and imagining what 5 years from now will bring, you will miss the precious word that God is speaking to you right now.

The best place you can be is where you are right now. Where God has you is the perfect place for you to learn and grow and become the person who is ready for what God has for you in the future.

That’s where I want to be. I hope and pray that’s where you want to be, too.

So take a deep breath. Look around and smell some roses. Enjoy where you are. If it’s a difficult season of life, look for the proverbial silver lining.

The best thing you will find is God there, ready to speak a word into your soul that will change everything about the way you see yourself and your situation.

All that greener pasture? It’s not so green when you get there.

Musical Memories

For me, picking out the right music for any trip in the car is a big deal. I can’t just pick up any old CD willy-nilly and be satisfied. Sometimes, I’ve been known to hunt down a particular album for hours just because I feel it would make the best possible soundtrack for the places I’m about to go in my car.

Tonight, I went with David Crowder Band’s Sunsets and Sushi. It seems like everytime I hear that CD, I’m immediately taken back to 2004 and to very vivid images of friends I knew back then and a Bible study/worship experience I went to back in the day called Ecclesia.

I can hear certain 80′s songs that take me back to my 8th grade dance. I get pictures of me with my yellow square tie and my bad hair dancing with a girl I’d had a crush on but never had the nerve to talk to. A girl I’ve never seen since, whose name was Lucy (and that’s the extent of what I remember about her).

I hear Silent Lucidity by Queensryche and I am immediately back to the Subway on Exeter Road in Germantown next to the Kroger’s I worked in. I was with yet another girl I had a crush on. This time, it was Carly, who just so happened to live a few streets down from me. I think I may have walked by her street a few (hundred) times, hoping to “accidentally” run into her. It never happened. And no, I don’t remember at all what sub I got that day.

I hear All I Want is You by U2 and my mind immediately goes to the movie Reality Bites and the scene where Winona Ryder is desparately trying to find Ethan Hawke and tell him she loves him. And yes, I still have a crush on her even 18 years later.

For me, music conjurs up images in my mind like nothing else, except maybe the smell of rolls fresh out of the oven or burning candles at Christmas.

For those of you who are music nerds like me, what albums or songs bring back the most vivid memories? Where do those songs take you?

Enquiring minds, i.e. me, want to know.