The First Letter to My Future Wife in 2013

I have a confession to make to you. I actually gave up on you for a little while. I gave up hope that I would ever meet you. But now I have hope again.

It may the tiniest bit of hope, but it’s there. It may not always be visible, but it’s strong enough to hold on to. I will never give up believing in you and praying for you until the day I meet you.

At this rate, we may both be 80-something and senile, but we’ll have fun– at least for a little while.

Don’t give up on me either. Don’t quit praying for me as I won’t give up praying for you. May we both commit to growing closer to Jesus and by that way grow closer to each other. May your first desire not be to find me, but to seek after and hold on to and treasure Jesus for all he’s worth. May that be my first desire, too.

I’ll be honest. Right now, meeting you seems like an impossibility, humanly speaking. But I believe that God is at his best at making the impossible possible. So I keep hoping. And praying. And waiting.

I pray that I don’t find you until I’m ready to love you like I’m supposed to love you. Like Jesus loved his bride and laid down his life for her. Like he will call me to love you when I meet you.

Until then, my hope is secure in the only place that can’t be shaken. It’s in God himself. I pray yours is, too.

 

 

A Different Take on Weddings

I went to the wedding today. It was lovely, as just about all weddings are. As usual, many people put a lot of time and thought and effort into the planning and preparation.

Many people would say that the wedding day is all about the bride. That it’s her day to shine and it’s all about her. I would disagree. It’s not the bride’s mother’s day either, even though she’s dreamed of this day since her girl was little and serving imaginary tea to her dressed-up dolls.

In my humble opinion, the wedding day is all about Jesus. Or it should be. Anyone who really understands the depths of marriage and all its symbolism knows that it’s more than just the union of two people. The Bible in Ephesians reminds us that marriage is a picture of just how much Christ loves His Bride, the Church, and gave everything for her.

A biblical marriage is a lived-out testimony to that great love of Jesus for the Church. It’s about two people coming together to not only serve each other, but to serve others in a way that’s better than they each could individually.

I haven’t been married, but I know that marriage is hard. Probably harder in this anti-marriage culture than ever before. Only two people under the Lordship of Christ and each in love with Jesus can not only sustain a marriage and thrive in it. Only the indwelling Spirit of Christ can overcome the innate selfishness of two people that really shows its ugly head after the marriage begins.

So I’m happy for both the bride and groom. Nothing gives me more joy to see the bride in all her radiance walking down the aisle, looking more beautiful than ever. Nothing makes me smile than seeing the groom’s face when he sees his bride for the first time in her wedding gown.

But nothing beats the joy that knowing when a wedding truly celebrates Jesus and exalts Him to His rightful place in the marriage. Nothing blesses my heart more than when a wedding ceremony is truly a worship celebration.

One day when I get married, I hope it will truly be celebration of the goodness and greatness of God. I hope that it’s not my bride’s day or her mother’s day, but a day that belongs most of all to Jesus.

 

Thankful for You

I’m thankful that you are you and not me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for me, too, but I’m glad there is only one of me. I’m not sure the world could handle multiple Gregs running amuck and causing all kinds of chaos.

I’m thankful that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God and that you carry His signature on you. You are not a mistake. You are not an afterthought. You are not a copy of anyone or anything else that has ever been or will ever be. You are uniquely you (try saying that five times fast).

Just as unique is God’s plan for you. Don’t get caught up in comparing your life to someone else’s. Maybe you’re not married. Maybe you’re still living at home with the folks long after you thought you would be. Maybe you’re still wondering what you’ll be when you finally grow up.

That doesn’t make you a failure. It means you are not satisfied with the status quo, but you are wanting to find out what you were born to do and what makes you come alive.

Be patient. God’s promises may not happen according to your timetable, but they always happen in His perfect timing. I believe that if you can hold out a little longer, you will be surprised and amazed at what comes next. God is anything but predictable. But I know it’s gonna be great.

Remember that no matter what happens today, no matter what anybody else says to you or about you, no matter how impossible your life seems right now, that I am thankful for you. I’m rooting for you. So is God. And like I’ve said before, what seems impossible to us is not even remotely difficult for God (thanks to Pete Wilson of Cross Point Church for that one).

 

 

Signs You’re Finally Growning Up

I am not the most mature person you’ve ever met. Sometimes, I feel like a 10-year old trapped in a 40-year old body, kinda like Tom Hank’s character in the movie Big. But God has been growing me up a lot in the last few years. Along the way, I’ve come to be able to discern and recognize some of the signs of maturity.

1) For us singles: It’s when that girl or that guy you’ve been interested in and secretly hoped was interested in you is not. They’re not interested in you as anything more than a friend. But you find that you can still cherish that person as a friend and be the best friend in return that you can possibly be.

Best of all, you find you’ve come to the place where you can celebrate and rejoice when that person finally finds true love and be genuinely happy for the two of them.

2) For parents: It’s when you can release your children to be what God is calling them to be, even if it’s not what you wanted or had planned for them. It’s when you do everything in your power to find their purpose, even if that purpose leads them halfway around the globe.

3) For all of us: It’s when you can live with unaswered questions and unfulfilled longings and desires. You are able to trust God and keep holding on in faith, even when everything in you and around you tells you not to. You are able to pray the prayer, “Lord, if all I have from You today is You and the next breath, that will be enough.”

4) It’s when you stop praying so much for blessings and start praying to be a blessing. You begin to see people as hurting and broken and needy and you see yourself as a channel through which God can pour out healing and wholeness and love to those around you.

5) It’s when you’re need to be acknowledged and approved of and commended gets less and less and you can be okay with not getting the credit for something you did. You can echo with the words of John the Baptist about Jesus that “I must decrease, that He may increase.”

6) It’s about being okay with being in the process. Being okay with not knowing the answers or even the next step in life because even though you may not know where you’re being led, you know the One leading you. It’s when you can like yourself for who you are, not who you aren’t but want to be.

These are some of the signs that I recognize as part of God’s work in me. He’s maturing me into the man of God and vessel through which He can transform the world. It’s about Jesus reaching out and touching people through your hands and speaking to them with your voice. It’s a very long process, but as I have found, it is so much more than worth it.

Yet Another Blog About Marriage from the Perpetually Single Guy

I have to admit something. I’m a bit disturbed.

Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe a little envy is creeping in, but I get disturbed by the way people on facebook are describing the ones that they will very probably end up marrying.

The descriptions are things like “tall” or “hot” or some other physical attribute. I know attraction is important, but is it the most important thing?

This is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and walk through all the seasons and storms of life with. It won’t matter if he’s got six-pack abs when you’re dealing with the loss of a family member. It won’t matter how “hot” he is when you’re struggling to make ends meet and wondering which bill will be left unpaid this month.

The most important thing, the first thing you should be able to say about your potential spouse, is what kind of character he or she has. Is he kind? Is she considerate? How does he treat strangers? How does she talk about her family and friends when they’re not around?

Again, I admit that I am probably making something out of nothing, but I have to get this out in the open so it won’t hang around in my brain and keep me from sleeping tonight.

Mostly, I see a generation that is obsessed with having the perfect weddings, but not nearly ready enough to have successful, impacting marriages. So much of what passes for dating these days is “pretending to be married and practicing for divorce,” as I heard it put once.

One last thing. There’s no prize for how fast you move from dating to being engaged to being married. Take your time and learn everything you can about the other person.

I may be eternally single and date-less, but I do know this: if you try to make a relationship fulfill what only God was meant to fulfill, it will fail miserably.

I have a lot to learn about this, as well as many other areas, but I do know that God is still good and He is still eternally patient with me.

The moral? Take all this with a grain of salt and read it with grace. But keep your eyes open and your mind intact. Love isn’t something you fall into; it’s something that you must choose again each day, something you must work at, something that may at times be very hard, but at all times will be worth it.

Thursdays are Good Again

Thursdays usually don’t get much respect. They’re always the day before Friday, which gets all the credit for being for being the start of the weekend.

But for me, Thursdays are good again.

I particupate in Kairos Roots, a Thursday Bible Study for those who want to go deeper into God’s Word and God’s community. I am a table leader, which means I facilitate discussion. In simple terms, I ask a question or two and sit back and watch and learn.

Mike Glenn, the main speaker at Kairos, a related Bible Study on Tuesdays, always says that as a believer you need three things– worship, service, and community. I need community because the first person I lie to is me.

I’ve found that sitting at the table, someone next to me or across from me may have a different way of looking at a verse or a doctrine or an application. They may have an insight I’d never thought of before. Something I say may have an impact on someone else, although it seems I am usually the one who gets impacted the most.

I never leave quite the same person. I walk away wiser and more aware of how inter-connected we as believers all are. We all need each other. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. No one makes it through alone. No one who wants to stay sane, anyway.

Also, if you spend the week ministering and serving others, you will eventually be drained. You need a place to recharge and revitalize. You need a place where you can grow and mature and learn how to serve better.

If you’re in the Nashville area on Thursday nights, drop by the Connection Center at Brentwood Baptist Church at 7 pm. There’s always good worship to start things off, good teaching, and good table discussion afterward. You will be blessed.

Still Thankful for Grace

On the days when I’m feeling spiritually strong and I am seeking God with all my being, I need grace.

On the days when I barely make it out of bed before I fall into temptation and the rest of the day is spent digging out of one trap after the next, I need grace.

On the days when I hear God speaking to me though His word and I feel my purpose more clearly, I need grace.

On the days when I read a bunch of words that I forget the moment I put my Bible down, when I feel like my existance is pointless and futile, I need grace.

When I’m asking for forgiveness for something I’ve already done, or worse yet, something I’m about to do, I need grace.

No matter how faithful or faithless I’ve been in the last 24 hours, I still need grace.

I will need grace to sustain me and save me every single day for the rest of my life.

The more I see my need for grace, the more thankful I am for it and the more willing I am to extend it to others around me who need it as much as I do. The more I see that I just can’t do it alone and that I need brothers and sisters who will walk beside me and encourage, challenged, rebuke, and spur me on to continue in the faith.

May you see your need of grace all the more each day and come to be thankful that where you are weak, His grace is still very much sufficient. May you see that at the end of the day, all that you can say that got you through will have been grace and only grace. May you not only reach out to take it, but also to extend it to those around you who certainly don’t deserve it, but need it just the same.

Kinda like you and me.

What Maturity in the Faith Looks Like

I had some random thoughts on the concept of maturity as a believer and what that should look like. Not that I’m so very mature or perfect, but I’m beginning to catch glimpses of what the finished product will look like.

It means that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I’m not wishing I were taller or shorter or better looking or 5 to 10 pounds lighter. It means I look in the mirror and really like the person looking back.

It means I am at peace with the silence and don’t need constant noises to distract me from my own inner monologue. It means I can be alone and not always have to be in a crowd or with people all the time.

It means that I am finding my completeness in Christ and not looking for something or someone to validate my existence or give my life meaning. I am not defined by a relationship or the lack thereof, by my income level, my living situation, or anything else but by what God has told me and who He has said I am.

It means there is not a person out there that I can’t learn something from. It also means that I never reach the point where I will finally have all the answers and have God figured out neatly into a tidy doctrinal box.

It means that I am strong enough to be weak, and more than that, to boast in my weaknesses, so that the power that raised Christ from the dead, that resurrection power, can work best in me.

It means I have learned that some of the most important words are “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Forgive me” and “I will choose to forgive you.” When speaking to God, the two most important phrases are “Help me” and “Thank you.”

It means that you look for the best in others and always give the benefit of the doubt and never, never, never, never give up believing in or praying for those in your life who are trying to do right.

It means that I can love as God loves, giving without expecting anything back. It means that I become a vessel always being filled with the love of Jesus and always running over and always overflowing on to those around me, so that God is truly loving those people through me.

Finally, it means that I am already who God said I would be. I am perfect and holy and righteous because He declared it to be so.

Ok, I lied. One more. It means that no matter how hopeless or bad or forlorn my situation looks like, I can know that it will turn out for the best, because God will finish what He started in me. One day, sooner than later, it will all have been worth it and there will not have been any part of my story that God didn’t turn into something beautiful.